Presence is the new premium

The 4th of 10 trends shaping how we’ll build and grow professional relationships in an AI world.

Don’t let the flurry of return-to-office mandates fool you: remote work — and with it, remote networking and virtual experiences are here to stay.

With so many people working remotely, it’s time to consider what factors actually motivate people to show up in real life. Aside from preferences (like preferring the office over working from home) and personal feelings about productivity, the primary reason people will show up in real life (IRL) is because who they’re meeting with is important to them in some way, and they want to strengthen those relationships.

As AI further cements “remote” as the norm rather than the exception, time spent in person commands a premium. Attending events like curated salons and CEO roundtables is becoming the new power move.

This is the fourth of the 10 core beliefs I have for what the future of relationship and community building holds, a.k.a. my Future of Networking forecast. It’s also the first trend that sits within what I call the “Behavioral and Cultural Shifts.” For those who want to catch up:

Foundational Shifts:

🔮 My fourth prediction for the Future of Networking is the shift to remote by default, in-person by design.

As remote 1:1s and digital introductions become the default in networking, hosting or agreeing to an in-person meeting carries increased weight.

Showing up IRL requires more time, energy, and effort — and the people you show up for know that, too. It makes these in-person moments more valuable, but it also raises expectations for the quality of the experience.

For example, my clients are top executives who truly do not have time to gamble on in-person networking events with random or unknown guest lists. (Rather than risk wasting their time, they look to us to make virtual organic introductions to other executives on their behalf, or to plan private gatherings that bring the right people right to them.)

That’s where “by design” comes in. 🪄

It’s why New York’s young professionals (and brands alike) are clamoring to take part in EV Salon, where every invitee (who receives a handwritten name tag) is vetted against the event group overall and identified as a potential strategic networking match for someone else in attendance.

“By design” includes good timing, too. This isn’t a novel concept per se, but an ever more important one. It was no coincidence FII Institute hosted its Priority Europe summit immediately after the European Political Community summit, where 40+ heads of state had just gathered. (Not to mention that power brokers already know in-person trumps digital.)

Whether by assembling the right guest list or handwriting nametags, in short, “by design” = “intentional.” For more on what it looks like to design IRL experiences, check out my intentional gatherings series. 👇

The intersection with AI

☔ I’m not trying to rain on any digital nomad’s parade (as a 3x founder, I’ve lived that lifestyle—no judgment!), but as we celebrate people working remote, moving to smaller cities to capitalize on lower cost of living, and so on… it’s those who know how and when to show up IRL—and who are mastering AI tools for human connection—who are going to come out on top. 🏆

The mastery part is critical, and it’s not just about using AI at all vs. not at all. While AI tools are accelerating our ability to network remotely (and with that, increasing the volume of networking that can be done), efficiency ≠ effectiveness in every case.

AI mastery is knowing when to deploy the tools and how. 🧙

Take AI notetakers, for example. They’re growing increasingly popular, so I bet you’ve been in at least one meeting that was joined by a note-taking bot. (And maybe you have and didn’t realize it—more on that in a sec.)

I love them because they allow me to actually train my full focus on the people in the call and hear what they’re saying, rather than scrambling to take notes. On the other hand, I’ve been in meetings where there were more bots than humans! 😱 I’ve also been the first person in a meeting hanging out with all the bots and have been worried that if I said anything, the bots would share it with other attendees. 🤐

(On that note, I just heard that Zoom is working on a feature where a bot can give a presentation on your behalf… how long until it’s just a bunch of bots presenting to other bots?!)

Many people are covertly using AI notetakers, too. For example, Granola records in the background so people on your call aren’t notified (ChatGPT offers this option too). You can ask Granola things like “What questions should I ask?” or “What did I miss?” or even prompt it to “Make me look smart” and it will give you unique perspectives to mention on the fly.

Mastery is also about knowing potential opportunities and pitfalls. Tools like Insight7, CallMiner can track how emotionally engaged people were on calls. Soon, we may not just get meeting transcripts, we’ll get “emotional engagement scores.”

If an AI tool tells you a meeting had low engagement, how does that affect your opinion of those in attendance? How does that affect your relationship with a specific company, team, or person? What if the tool gets it wrong?

In short, being physically present signals deeper engagement, especially as AI note taking tools allow you to tune out in digital environments.

☝️ When the stakes are high, you go IRL. When the person you’re meeting with is important, you go IRL.

AI tools are changing how we manage relationships—but they can't replicate trust, chemistry, or emotional nuance.

You should use AI to run your meeting, but use your presence to run your relationships.

👉 Don’t fall behind. Learn to use AI toolsbecause other people are. 

👉 Choose where you show up wisely. Presence is reputation, and where and how you show up communicates your priorities.

  • Audit your meetings: Which ones demand your presence (virtual or otherwise), and which ones can be handled by AI, or asynchronously?

👉 Let AI handle logistics.

  • Adopt AI notetaking tools to free up your attention in meetings—and use that extra capacity to boost your engagement and focus.

👉 When you are in person, be intentional in those moments—those are your relationship investments.

👉 Ask: Who is worth the walk, the drive, the flight?

Nicole’s Take 🎬

In an increasingly online world, your IRL presence will say more about you than your digital footprint. Who you choose to spend time with offline — and where — is an increasingly powerful signal of your values, credibility, status, and intent.

Today, your event attendance says, “I care about this. I trust these people. I believe in what we’re building together.(It’s why I made time to attend The Female Quotient’s event during Miami Grand Prix weekend.)

Thanks for reading,
Nicole

“But wait, there’s more!” 👇

Challenge Existing Thinking

Too many professionals are using AI passively (e.g., creating summaries and recaps) rather than using it for their human connection strategy. It’s time to think about how can it elevate you, not just optimize your processes. With that, it’s time to think about how it might hurt you (or others), too.

Food for thought:

  • What happens when an AI tool scores your engagement on a call and reports it?

  • What happens when someone sends a bot to take their place? (Sending a bot is not the same as showing up. Take heed and use sparingly—at least for now, while bots remain far behind the cultural norm.)

  • How does it affect your trust in someone if you discover they never showed up live?

  • What’s your approach to AI etiquette? Since tools like Granola and ChatGPT can now record silently, we’re entering an era where privacy norms are being rewritten. What are the new rules of consent and trust in digital meetings?

What I’ve loved recently

🎦 “How EMFs are frying your brain and what to do about it” on Mindvalley: A conversation on the effects of radiation from cellphones and tablets and how to counteract them.

Did you love this newsletter? Please forward it to a friend, or have them subscribe here.