🤝 How to build relationships with the right people

Greetings, Momentum Builders!

Two weeks ago, I introduced you to the three components that I consider the workaround to traditional methods of gaining power and influence, building momentum, and making an impact.

1️⃣ Having relationships with the right people — meaning, the kind of relationships that can open doors for you

2️⃣ Providing a value to others — without expectation of receiving anything in return

3️⃣ Being crystal clear on your purpose — letting people know exactly what you’re doing, why you’re doing it, and why you’re the right person to do it

Today we’re unpacking No. 1 — what it means to have relationships with the right people.

So, how can you actually meet “the right people”?

We can’t just walk into the CEO’s office at the company we want to work for and ask them to be our friend — nor should we — because you likely won’t get past security, and because it’s creepy. Try these three tips instead. 👇

Have a strategy: be where those people are (and provide value to them)

• For example, if you’re a doctor focused on longevity and nutrition, attend wellness lifestyle meetups, exercise groups, or healthy cooking classes. Listen to the questions people ask, and follow up via email with a curated list of helpful suggestions. No selling, and no expectation of return: simply sharing your expertise in a way that’s tailored to their needs.

• At events, I take notes on what speakers say. After the event, I go up to them and share something that was impactful and thank them for their insight. That’s it. If you follow up afterwards, for example via email, you can say, “After the event, I shared that your comment on _____ was impactful. Adding to that, here’s ____ (something of value to them, not your own agenda) that may be helpful in your work.”

Be human and intentional: maintain your relationships

1. First, it’s OK to have a system for your relationships. If your objective is to nurture relationships and achieve your goals — why wouldn’t you have an efficient system in place the same way you do for other aspects in your life?

2. You can use a CRM software or a simple Excel / Google Sheet to manage. It doesn’t have to be fancy or complex — in fact, the simpler and easier to use, the better. Include notes such as where you met each person, personal things like their spouse’s name or the number of children they have, the last date of contact and what was discussed, and when might be an ideal time to follow up and what to follow up about (based on what was discussed, or topics to keep an eye out for and mention in the future).

3. Set 2-3 calendar reminders every week to review your system and see which relationships need nurturing.

4. The most important part is that you are HUMAN, intentional, and practical here. Sending a “hey how’s it going?” text to someone you don’t have that kind of relationship with is strange. Build up to that (if that’s your desire) by setting up meetings or activities to get your relationship there (coffee, walk and talk, group activity, invite to an exclusive event, etc).

   ☝️ This means making sure you are NOT being transactional. Aim to provide value in each interaction — it doesn’t have to mean you spend hours of time or dollars trying to do something for them; it could simply be following up on something that was discussed, “How did that event go that you spoke at? I remember you were practicing for it when we last spoke.”

Embrace randomness / serendipity: go outside the box

• Make a list of your personal interests, then join groups or find events relevant to those topics. (For more on how this can unlock new opportunities, check out my article on the power of casual connections.)

• Tell people you’re interested in doing new things. Ask them to think of you when they’re going to an event, taking a class, attending a dinner party, etc.

👉 When I was running my very first business many years ago (a co-working space), I went to ALL the events around town. Even though my target audience was remote workers who lived within two miles of my business (very specific), I nurtured relationships with people that I got along well with, or who had similar interests outside of work — and many of them ended up referring me business!

I have always had a personal passion for social justice. I went to a discussion event where people were encouraged to talk about how they would make an impact in third world countries — WAY beyond my business focus, but something I deeply cared about.

I ended up meeting a woman who worked on-site at a hospital on the other side of town (translation = she could never be a client at my business) and we got along great. Even though my No. 1 priority as an entrepreneur was always to grow to my business, I accepted her invitation to have coffee, got to know her better, and started to invite her to some events with friends.

That woman turned into a huge referral source for me — she loved hearing about my entrepreneurial endeavors and would mention me to anyone she met who worked remote or lived close to my space. Even though she could never personally be a client, she sent many people my way.

That experience always reminded me of two things: (1) your personal interests outside of work are other avenues to meet people, and (2) the importance of making time in your schedule for conversations that are not work-related.

I recognize there is A LOT to unpack with these three tips — way more than can fit in a single email.

Have specific questions? Let me know with a reply!

That’ll do it for Newsletter No. 4. In the next edition, we’ll work our way through what it means to provide unique value and why it’s so important to momentum-building.

Talk soon,
Nicole

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