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What the best tech can't replace
The truth after testing dozens of tools 🤖

If you’ve been subscribed to this newsletter for awhile, I’m hoping by now you’re eager and energized to approach networking and relationship management differently. (And if you’re a new subscriber, hi! 👋 Click here to catch up on some past reads.)
Maybe all my references to systems and AI apps have led you to start poking around for the right tech tools for the job. 🔍 I’m definitely hearing more and more from people on the hunt for a tool to solve their networking and relationship building problems.
Well…I’ve tested dozens of these tools. 🤓
Here’s the thing they all have in common: every tool was built by a team that made decisions about how human relationships work. That means they designed the software around what categories they believe matter, what actions they believe you should track, and what they believe a strong connection looks like. That means, rather than feel enabling, these tools can actually feel limiting — when implemented in isolation.
The average CRM tool will guide you through an onboarding that looks like some version of:
1) Sync your contacts
2) Sort them into groups
3) Set a cadence for how often you’d like to be following up with them (let’s face it, those “checking in” emails just don’t cut it)
4) Log notes from your interaction
This isn’t inherently a bad set-up. It is contact management after all. What it is not, is a thoughtfully designed relationship system.
Existing CRM tools are simply a tool to organize information. And don’t get me wrong, there are many great ones on the market.
Yet I often see people failing to get value from them long-term:
“I’m using these tools, but my network isn’t growing.”
“I tried this tool, but I didn’t know what to do with it.”
It’s because they are using these tools without first establishing a North Star and strategy for getting there. In short: they are confusing software for a true system.
A tool doesn't know your industry nuances. It doesn't account for how you build trust. It's not taking into account all the human things you can and should do in your networking activities.
To this day, after trying dozens of softwares and platforms, I still have not found a tool that 100% replaces the kind of system architecting we do for our clients (or even 50% TBH).
Fundamentally, it’s because every single person approaches networking a little differently, and tools are largely one-size-fits-all.
For example, one of our clients cares most about tracking professional expertise to facilitate introductions weekly for his network, while another is a music aficionado who loves asking what kind of music people like when first getting to know them. Meanwhile, the most functionality you’ll get from a CRM in that regard is a tab labeled “Interests” and it will say “Mrs. X likes art, so does Mr. Y” but what does that actually tell you to do? Without a relationship strategy in place, your CRM will give you information, but you won’t have the strategy for how to use it to reach your specific goals.
That’s exactly why we pair the best tech for our clients with our customizations—customizations that can’t be fully understood until our team has done the essential exploratory, strategy-shaping work.
No CRM will fully activate your networking capabilities until you’ve defined your business goals, understood who you need to engage with, and determined how you will consistently provide unique value to your network—and in the right format for you.
To create unique value for those people—and to determine what your relationship-strengthening activities with them will be—you have to work backward from a strategy. And if your strategy is different from someone else’s, there’s a chance you shouldn’t be using the same tool(s).

So, before you dive to deeply into the search for the right tools, ask yourself:
Have you formulated a strategic networking plan first?
Do you know what categories, tags, features, cadences, etc. that you need to grow your network?
“What's your favorite CRM?” is a hard question for me to answer. Because what I think everyone needs to be after is not a CRM, but actually an NMS: a Network Management System, which is what we architect and build for our clients. 😉
The right technology, in the right hands, running the right system for you — that's the difference between a network that grows and one that just gets logged in a spreadsheet or app you give up on. This is what we mean by 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐀𝐫𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞: creating a designed relationship system, implemented and operated by real networking experts, and built around the executive, or leadership team, at the center of it.
Announcing a limited offer 🔥
If you've been curious about working together but aren't in a position to commit to a full Networking OS™ engagement — this is for you.
I'm opening three spots for a focused, high-impact version of the work I do with executives at the start of every engagement: a custom half-day relationship strategy session, backed by a full week of network analysis before we ever sit down.
🎟️ JUST THREE SPOTS AVAILABLE
Here's how it works:
Before the session: I spend one week doing a deep analysis of your existing network. Mapping it, categorizing it, and identifying the relationships already in your orbit that you haven't fully activated. This is the same work we complete in Month 1 of our full engagements. By the time we sit down together, we're not building strategy in the abstract — we're building it around your actual network and your actual goals.
The half-day session: A focused, one-on-one strategy session designed entirely around you. We build your relationship strategy from the ground up: who you need in your orbit, how you position yourself, what you consistently bring to your relationships, and how you create a flywheel where the right people start finding their way to you.
Within a week of our session: You'll receive your complete strategic networking action plan. A clear, personalized roadmap for exactly how to invest your time over the next year to reach your business goals through relationships. Follow the plan, and the results will follow. I’ve seen it over and over, in 20 years of doing this.
You'll walk away with:
Clarity on where to spend your time (and where not to), based on activities that are directly aligned with your business goals
Confidence around who to say yes, no, and not right now
A deep analysis of your existing network and the hidden / high-leverage opportunities already sitting in it
The right technology recommendation for your needs, configured to match how you think and operate
A 1-year action plan built to grow your network and create a flywheel — where the right people start coming to you 🧲
If you’re ready to network more efficiently, feel less overwhelmed by a busy schedule of ‘meeting with people’ and yet get much better outcomes from every interaction you choose to have—just reply back to me.
Nicole
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What I’ve loved recently
📖 Lady Tan’s Circle of Women: absolutely captivating. I read it on a 16-hour flight and couldn’t stop. A beautiful, powerful story about resilience, injustice, women’s lives, friendship, and medicine — with themes that still feel incredibly relevant today. A masterpiece.